We have been here nearly two months now, and the job has many benefits. One of the biggest benefits, for me, is listening to some of the mistakes my students make, or mistakes that I make in listening to them or trying really hard to define something with limited words.
I feel like Will Ferrel when he plays Alex Trebek on Celebrity Jeopardy. Seemingly ridiculously easy topics become infuriatingly impossible. However, these mistakes keep me employed, entertained and feeling smart, though slightly guilty. Let's laugh with them all together...
*Until about a week ago, when I asked my students what they liked to do, I kept hearing THIS CENTURY. I thought it was so wierd that an entire country liked to describe what they did in terms of a century. I finally realized they were saying RECENTLY.
*I asked one student to describe his girlfriend. He replied "She has short hair. She looks like a boy."
*I asked a student where he wanted to vacation and why. He replied, "I want to go to Iran because I like hot places and I like to sea dive."
*In a role play exercise, I assigned one person to play his favorite baseball player Hadeki Matsui. The other student was her favorite actress, Meg Ryan. They were supposed to discuss what they wanted to do and he asked right away, "Meg Ryan will you marry me?" She said yes.
*One woman said her favorite country was Switzerland because it had delicious cheese.
*Germany is a very popular destination for many Japanese. They all say, "I went to German."
*This is one of my personal favorites...I had an early morning lesson with two business men. Compliments are not common in Japan and I decided to teach a lesson on that subject. I asked them to compliment eachother. The first man said, "Your face color is brilliant." The other responded by saying, "Your face is in excellent condition."
*When a student has a difficult time grasping the concept of our excersise, I say an example and try to have them repeat simply by saying REPEAT. All they can do is repeat REPEAT.
*One morning my students were asked to describe their families. One man, overjoyed, exclaimed, "My sister just had a baby girl! I'm an aunt! I'm an aunt!"
*Canada seems to be an object of fantasy for many Japanese. Tired of hearing people's dreams of going to Canada for the 'delicious food' I decided to inquire what kind of delicious food they were hoping to find in Canada. My student replied, "I want to eat big beef!"
*Another student wanted to go to Canada because, "I would be able to eat pancakes with maple syrup and metal." I never uncovered what he was trying to say.
*I had a woman who had a 10 day old baby. This was her second lesson of the day and when asked why she wanted to study English, she said 'for fun.' She had two other children ages 2 and 3. She breast fed this baby during our lesson and when she wasn't manipulating her boob on camera, the baby lay behind her on her bed with her one arm stretched back to make sure it wasn't going to fall off. The closest I could gather of her other children's names were Coma and Lazy. Her priorities seem awfully wonky.
*A woman told me she wanted to go to Australia because "I want to hug the koala and fight the kangaroo."
And finally...
*I had two students in one day, different classes named Osamu and Sadamu. Sadamu never showed up, he must be hiding.
Stay tuned for more updates as I am sure these miscommunications will continue.....
if only the students were as clever as sean connery...
Posted by: jed at August 5, 2004 07:09 AM