My contact with famous people has been pretty limited all my life, largely in part because I am usually oblivious to everything going on around me. I've had a kiss on the cheek by Magic Johnson and a hug from Patch Adams and no matter how many encounters big or small I will have with celebrities throughout my life, I will always be awe-struck.

This brings me to my "encounter" yesterday. In my many visits to NYC to visit Anni and Chris, I have never seen anyone famous. But yesterday, while Anni, Jed and I were indulging in the wonder that is Dippin' Dots outside the only Dippin' Dots outpost in Manhattan, Anni casually announced that Neil Patrick Harris (aka Doogie Howser, M.D.) had just walked into a neighboring restaurant. She acted like it was no big deal, Jed continued to be ignored by Chuck on his cell phone and I paced back in forth of the restaurant staring at the former teen idol. Jed casually snapped a picture, which I am sure you can find on his website.

I would like to extend a special thanks to Beckie who at least pretended to be as excited as I was about this star sighting. Apparently, this kind of thing happens to Anni "all the time." I guess soon to be famous actresses do run into famous people more often than regular folk like me.

I also want to point out how wierd I find it that I ran into Doogie of all people since I was just telling Trina how much her boyfriend Geoff looks like Doogie. Other than that, I hadn't thought much about Doogie until yesterday, except for marvelling at his brilliant role in Undercover Brother.

Thank you to Anni and Chris for your horsebrutality and thank you to Beckie for letting us invade her apartment for the afternoon and play with beautiful little Princess Lilly. Lastly, thank you to Jed (we finally got to the Consulate for our visas!) for paying for everything short of my trailer home.

In all honesty, it has been good to visit all because of Dr. Elvis Bartakamous Md, PhD, Ob-Gyn, Esq. Staying with Jed's family has been really fun and I get to see my nephews again, who now walk AND I get to see Meghan and Jesse and Anni and Chris and Chuck and all the other people in the tri-state area.

We are now going to leave for Japan on June 16, assuming something else doesn't happen. I am anxious to get started and can't wait to see Rob, Lisa, Juliette, Bryan and Mari, but am trying to be optimistic that there is a reason I am here now. And hopefully, I won't have to live in CT after this.

And now, for the real reason I posted today...

A poem for Beckie

Beckie, Beckie, she's so fun
And her mom likes to run
Beckie has pretty blonde hair
Sigh, My life is so unfair
She lives in New York
And uses a fork
'We Built this City' is a good song, she said
And I really like her brother Jed.

Wow, I am a bad poet.

Captain Crunch's official first name is Horatio.

In addition to Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo Berry, there was a fourth, less popular monster, Fruit Brute, a warewolf cereal which was discontinued.

In baseball, a ground rule double is when the ball is hit out of the park and bounces back into the field, automatically advancing the batter to second base.

Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura said that in his next life he would like to come back as a 36DD bra.

Fraser Crane's view from his apartment on his Seattle-based television show is impossible unless you are more than halfway up one of the satellite towers on Queen Anne Hill.

I hope you feel as enriched as I do.

Confucius Lives Next Door

by T.R. Reid

Directions:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

Our lack of any schedule has often left us wide awake late at night. We find the best way to deal with our nocturnal energy is to take walks. The space needle seems to be where we head most often. This was the case tonight.

Around midnight, we were seated near the fountain at the front entrance talking when we heard some rustling behind us. Two street kids came walking through the bushes and headed straight to the fountain which had just been shut off. At first, too absorbed in my own conversation, I thought that maybe they were bathing (yes, I realize now that was a dumb thing to think) but Jed pointed out that they were actually stealing the money.

Several minutes later an employee from the Space Needle saw what was going on and walked up to the fountain. The boys didn't realize anyone was there until he began to speak. He could have physically stopped them but instead chose to yell profanities at them for stealing money from children. (I again, foolishly assumed that money just went back to the Space Needle.)

The kids ran away with all their change. The man didn't chase them but he did shoot a lingering and disparaging look our way. I immediately felt guilty, like I had stolen from the fountain.

Should we have done something? We saw them walk up and we saw them begin stealing. We did nothing but continue on with our conversation.

After they ran away, I told Jed that I thought we should have done something. We both felt bad, but he pointed out that it was best to stay out of it. What could we have done? What if they had knives?

It is easy to offer a heroic or idealistic opinion to what you would have done if in the same situation, but is that always honest? It was easy for me to invision a grand chase, tackle, maybe a few punches or bites and then return the money to the fountain after the incident had passed. In reality, I can barely walk to the supermarket without whining and sweating, I love the pants I was wearing too much to risk ripping them in a tackle, I have never punched anyone and they were far too dirty to bite. During any sort of altercation, the change would have spilled everywhere and would I, all beaten and exhausted, really want to search through the grass at night for a few dollars worth of change?

Perhaps that is justification, but I am curious, what would you do?

Our day started about three hours after it ended with Meghan waking us up to take us to the airport. She is the best friend; completely prepared for all our traveling needs. She had muffins ready for us to take for breakfast and a bottled water for me because she knows I like to fly with some water. We were up around 5:30am and saw the sunrise as we drove to the airport. Of course, it was the first day of our time in CT that the sun came out. We said goodbye to Meg, for me it was another goodbye to her. It sucked just as much the second time but I know our friendship doesn't end here.

For those of you who don't know me well, (and you don't really need to know me well to know this), morning does not agree with me. Needless to say, I took that out on poor Jed and his muffin.

Our plan was to fly to Baltimore and arrive at 9:30am and spend the bulk of the day with Jed's sister, Carrie and the new baby, Owen. Then we fly to Seattle with a layover in Vegas.

The flight to Baltimore began with Jed and I trying to avoid sitting near an obnoxious child. We flew Southwest, so we were able to choose our seats so we head as far away from all children as possible. Unfortunately, we were followed by extremely peppy guys in their thirties. These men had a conversation as follows (names are changed to protect my safety):

Jim: Well hello Joe! Would you like the paper?
Joe: No thankis Jim, you go ahead and read it first. I have a magazine.
Jim: Thanks Joe. Say, how about that UCONN team?
Joe: Yes, how about them Jim. They sure are incredible.

And so on...I never thought a 42 minute plane ride could feel so long.

We made it to Carrie's safe and sound and finally got to meet the little nephew....Owen! Man is he cute. Honestly, most babies are really ugly, but Owen is adorable and he has so much spunk. His hair is half mohawk, half bed head and he has this great stare. Jed had never held a baby before, which really surprised me. I just assumed at some point everyone has held a baby. Anyway, at first he was really, really stiff and knuckled while holding him. But then he got really comfortable and loved it. He was in love with Owen almost immediately, all of us were. This baby doesn't cry and he makes great little fists. He is a load of fun and we spent just about our entire afternoon with Carrie staring at Owen.

Carrie and her husband Sean drove us to the airport in their new hybrid toyota prius. It was the coolest vehicle ever. I want one, but will have to wait until I return to the US.

Our 4 and a half hour flight to Vegas seemed even longer than that. We were lucky to have the row to ourselves but unlucky that we had to suffer through that hideous movie Mona Lisa Smile. We flew into Vegas around 10:30pm and were so excited when we saw "the strip." Only, it wasn't the strip. It was just a lot of light. The actual strip was so cool. The runway was right next to it. I had no idea that the airport was so close to the city. I wanted to explore but knew we couldn't leave. Lucky for us, we could play the slots right there in the terminal. I won a whopping 25 cents! Jed probably won close to $10 but I think he had that hypnotic stare and involuntary crank reflex as he could not stop wasting it all away. It was great fun though. However, we had been up for nearly 24 hours and all I remember about the flight to Seattle was that I could hardly stay awake to chew my gum through the take off. I passed out on my food tray.

We made it back to Seattle at about 2:30am and were so happy to see the city. Now we just wait until our departure until May 12. We've been keeping busy though. Jed surprised me with tickets to an Ani DiFranco concert which was a blast as always. We spent Easter on Bainbridge Island due to the generosity and hospitality of some of our local friends. The weather has been warm and sunny so we have really been taking advantage of our time off to take walks down to the waterfront. Things have been great, but I can't wait to go to Japan. 27 days until the move....

Jed's aunt and uncle own The Old Riverton Inn and made a ravioli lasagna that Jed's parents picked up. Such a good idea. Any way to add cheese to something already ridiculously cheesy is a good idea. It felt so good to eat a cooked meal instead of gas station or hotel or fast food. It also felt good to stretch and lounge.

Elvis Bartakamous Scattergood meets Maggie. Our little kitten has never had to socialize with other animals before. He has always been good with people, but we figured he would be a little skittish around Jed's sister's cat. Maggie was a stray and I call her owl face for the obvious reason. She is so cute and sweet and was very patient while Taki hissed and growled and hid. She even played with his toys in an effort to get him to join her. It took until Sunday, but I guess nine days in cramped space is enough. He finally came out and explored a bit. He played with his toys and even played with Maggie through the door.

On Thursday, we relaxed around Jed's parents' house. It felt great. We did some of the same on Friday, though we did wake up to have lunch with Joe and Jay from Litco. It was wierd to be back to a place where we had already said our goodbyes. Since Jed had said his goodbye for Seattle, we had to explain 50,000 times what was going on with Japan. At least we have something to look forward to. Joe and Jay were a blast, as always, and we visited a great little lunch spot in Borrington where they still remembered Jed's order.

Friday night we had dinner with Jed's parents. We had dinner with them most nights and it was always so fun. Lots of laughter, usually at my expense, but it was a good time. They like to eat therefore I love them. Actually, I love them anyway. I thought Jed was as perfect as they get, but his parents are unbelievable. They are patient, nice and easy to talk to. Anyway, enough of my sappiness.

Saturday morning was my family's turn. In many ways, I wish I had left my goodbyes as they had been in February. I held my nephew as he was falling asleep, I had a great dinner with my sister-in-law and roles were reversed as my mom witnessed me have a massive panic attack when I ran out of room in my suitcases. However, I could not visit home without seeing everyone. We had a brunch and I was in a bad mood. Then my mom acted like Jed was invisible as she had to ask me to ask him everything. She wasn't mad at him or anything; she is just like that. Tommy, my nephew was fun, though Joey wanted to play by himself. My dad locked himself in the garage with the dog, my brother fell asleep, Joey knocked Tommy over when he tried to play with his plastic easter eggs, and the rest of us didn't do much of anything.

Saturday night, Jed and I met our friends Marc, his wife Meghan, Joe, his wife Nadine, and Jay for sushi. We were supposed to meet Chuck afterwards at his house, but in typical Chuck fashion he was not there when we arrived. We had to wait outside for a good ten minutes, watching the television he left on through his living room window. Finally he showed up and we played all 12 rounds of Scattergories. Then around midnight, when we were hungry again, Chuck cooked up some awesomely delicious Bertucci's, including my favorite dish which is no longer on the menu.

Sunday I spent my mom's life savings at WalMart. I hated every second in that stupid store but got a lot of great stuff. The night was mellow and Jed and I just relaxed and enjoyed the cat's newfound adventure.

Monday was the goodbye day. We went to visit Jed's grandparents where Jed entertained us on the keyboard and his grandfather opened up a bit on his time as a pilot in the war. They live in the most amazing community and though Jed and I are far from elderly (in age, not action) we want to live there. Mom, pack your bags cause that'll be where you go. :) It's better than living with me anyway. Jed's mom and I pigged out on jelly beans, I said goodbye to my parents and we enjoyed one last dinner with Jed's parents before heading out to my friends Meghan and Jesse's for the night.

Later that night, Meghan and Jesse picked us up. It felt amazing to see Meghan again. I miss hanging out with a girlfriend, but especially her. She is my favorite friend to be judgemental with. It is good to have someone who you can spew anything on your mind to. The UCONN men's basketball team won the championship and we laughed at the news blowing a celebratory bonfire way out of proportion. It was great to know that there is nothing better to report on. We got a total of three hours of sleep before we had to wake up at 5:30am for our flight to Baltimore.

It rained every day we were in Connecticut, which further reinforced our severe hatred for that stupid state.

So, this entry was extremely boring as I realize that we really didn't do much in CT. But I will still make you all suffer as the third (and final) installment will be our day in Baltimore with Jed's little nephew Owen and our flight home (via Vegas!!!)

One month from today and Jed and I will be on our way to humid Japan!!!

After a bet with Chris following a late night, Jed and I hurried to get out of the apartment by 4pm Sunday, March 28. It wasn't really too difficult, but we kept remembering things we wanted to bring. We left in plenty of time to win our $20 and fill up with a tank of gas.

Jed provides all the pictures on his website, so rather than repeat all that work you can just go there and have a look. We made it to Missoula, MT the first night. We had to smuggle the cat in since we chose a non pet friendly hotel. We had it down to a science though and it was no sweat. The cat was so good in the car and even better in the hotel.

Day two proved just as boring as Montana is huge and uneventful. We did, however, pass a sign for the Testicle Festival. I didn't get the details, but we laughed for a long time. The elevation changes proved difficult for our little angel to handle and he barfed in the back. We cleaned him up with a wet nap and gave him some lovin' and he slept the rest of the way. Then we saw what appeared to be a tornado. We aren't sure but that is what we would like to think. Then Jed got a ticket. Honestly, how can you NOT speed on the flattest roads on earth? We made it to Bismark, ND to another no pets allowed hotel.

Day three started really well because of the Starbucks located across the street from the hotel. It was very cold and snowing and windy though. We were ready to charge through and made it all the way to just outside the time zone change in South Bend, IN.

Day four sucked. It rained and my butt was really starting to hurt. We ended up in Clearfield, PA where our only food option was KFC, which made me sick. Pennsylvania remains my least favorite state. I have been to (I think) 41 states, so I believe I have a good basis for judging. I have never had fun in PA and the weather is never good and it is very boring and I just hate it. Oregon runs a close second for least favorite.

We arrived to CT on Wednesday and vowed not to do a road trip for a very long time.

Now.....a couple notes about the drive.

Let's discuss Jed's driving habits. For example, he likes to multitask. Our constant concern for the cat kept him partially turned towards him with one hand shoved back to pet him. Beautiful landscapes, sunsets and what we consider a tornado kept his other hand busy taking pictures. But regular pictures weren't good enough. Vidoes and 'artsy' photos that include thought and set up were his preference. You may wonder how he was able to drive. Simple. He used his legs. When one hand wasn't busy with the above tasks, he played with the iPod or the radio or thumbed through his CD collection to find the right music. But perhaps all these activities kept his speed down, because when he was fully focused on driving, he got a speeding ticket.

Now, before anyone accuses me of not helping, I want to explain my position during all this. Yes, I was the passenger. No, I didn't drive. Yes, I did sleep on occasion. Yes, I kept forgetting my one responsibility of locking all the doors when we got back in the car. Yes, I kept screwing up the directions. BUT, there are legitimate reasons for all these.

1) the car was packed so full that the seats were propping up all of our crap. Jed, having the height advantage, had the seat as far up as he could make it comfortable. The passenger seat accomodated my vertically challenged position in that it was almost as close to the dash as it could be. I could not reach the pedals in the drivers seat and Jed would not be able to fit in the passenger seat at all. Not to mention, we couldn't find a place for Jed's laptop bag or my suitcase sized purse, so they had to occupy the passenger floor which meant my feet couldn't go on the floor. I didn't mind but I would have put my feet on the dash anyway. I don't think Jed would have found it that comfortable.

2) Because Jed had to drive, he was exhausted by the time we got to the hotel. He had no problem acclamating to our new schedule. I, didn't have as easy of a time. I was often up until 3am reading or watching Nick at Nite. When we woke up at the god awful hour of 8am I was wiped out and needed sleep in the car. What else was I going to do? And to be fair, I didn't sleep that much.

3) I offered. I offered to do everything. I would pet the cat but he was stratigically placed so that I had to unbuckle to pet him. I wanted to take pictues but Jed insisted he do it. I offered to drive, but Jed was stubborn.

There was very little substance to this post, I realize. I tried to make it seem very exciting but it wasn't. Jed and I had a blast but I think it was because of the sheer insanity we experienced from about an hour into the trip and on. It wouldn't make for good writing.

Hope you could stand this.....stay tuned for the next installment which will feature ugly Borrington, Patheticut.

Jed and I are indeed heading to scenic, wonderful, bountiful, North Dakota for a night of sheer bliss and romance.

But seriously folks, the home of Bonanzaville, USA is more than just a romantic evening for us. It is a stop that will mark the near halfway point of our road trip back to Connecticut.

There will probably be very little romance since we will be tired from being crammed in the car all day, the cat (who will be making the journey with us) will be releasing all of his energy, as well as other fragrant items he has been storing while in the car. We will be hungry as we are likely to live off of chex mix and granola bars. I was earlier informed that fluff is not allowed in the car.

By Wednesday, we will be in Connecticut, the place we absolutely could not wait to get away from and never look back. And three months later, we are back.

But not for long, my friends. We will be making a short jaunt to Baltimore to visit little Owen, the newest member of Jed's family. Then we will be back to Seattle to resume our glorious life of staying up until 7am and sleeping until 3pm.

On May 12, we both head off to Japan. We couldn't be more excited about our new adventure, and I am especiallly happy that Jed is coming with me. So is my mom, since she thinks I need a guardian.

Love you mommy.

Alas, I must go now. The boys are having a dance party in the living room and I must shake my booty.

Sayonara.

Our complete lack of obligation led Jed and I to work very diligently at doing nothing. We quickly grew tired of this and decided that we were in need of a vacation. Thus was born our road trip to California. Jed has done a wonderful job of summarizing the trip but I wanted to post my own version as well. To ensure that this makes sense, I would strongly urge you to read Jed's entry first since this will not only be a recap but a response.

So...first go to http://poopypants.meatfreezer.com/

Day 1
Yes, Jed had caught my cold and felt yucky but I really don't think that had we both felt fine that we would have left any earlier. I really have no idea what we were thinking when we thought we could leave before 10am. Oregon is awful. There were a few nice parts, like Portland, but the drive down Route 5 was desolate. It definitely had the feel of a horror movie, though I never watch them because I scare so easily, which is why the television was on all night. It was also in Oregon that I learned of Jed's refusal to ask for directions. In fact, he insisted on driving back and forth for a while before agreeing to let me ask the directions. Note: there was a sign in front of us the whole time indicating the highway we were looking for. What I do love about Jed though, is how much like me he is concerning germs and food. We were pressed for options for dinner and decided that we would give into Taco Bell. After using the bathrooms and being horrified by their conditions, we only cringed at the thought of what their food prep was like. We immediately bolted. We ended up at a pizza place that was odd. It looked kind of like an Elk's Lodge or Town Hall or something but with a big counter to prepare pizza. I wanted spinach on my pizza, thinking it would be steamed and strained and in the pizza. Nope. They just threw whole leaves of raw spinach on the top. West Coast, learn how to make a good pizza damnit! Okay, so the night ended in Yreka, CA because we absolutely refused to get out of the car one more time in
(wh)oregon. My question to you is this...there is already a Eureka, CA closeby so how would you pronounce this place? I called it why-reeka and Jed made fun of me. Someone please help me!

Day 2
Ahhh.....Denny's. Jed has a highly underappreciated talent for the claw machine. The Denny's was right next door to our hotel and so we went in for some greasy breakfast. Jed was eyeing the claw machine from the moment we saw it so, of course, we played. When we saw that there were Care Bears inside, we knew we had to win. I am not sure where the fascination with Care Bears came from but for some reason our little group of friends love them. Jed won me Tenderheart, which we named BC. Then we were off to Calistoga. It was raining so I took a nap. Actually, Jed "felt more comfortable as the driver," so I never had to. It was nice of him but it made me suspicious that he harbours some kind of bad feelings for my driving. Anyway, when I woke up we were on top of a large mountain in the middle of a snow storm. An hour later, we were down the mountain and entering wine country in beautiful sunshine. We traveled through nauseating curve and mountain combinations to get to the remote but quaint village of Calistoga where we indulged in girly things. I had actually purchased this package at Calistoga as a gift for Jed but the more I thought about it, felt like it really was a gift for me. But gifts make me happy, and if I am happy, he is happy. Right darling, sweetiepie? (Insert vomit noise here) However, after reassuring Jed of his everpresent masculinity, we sunk into the mud bath. It was about a million degrees and super squishy. Jed immediately sunk to the bottom while I sort of floated on the top until the attendant threw a bunch of mud on top of me. We rinsed off and then sat in a mineral water jacuzzi and rehydrated with lemon water. Ten minutes later, we were off to our towel wrap which brings our body temperatures safely back down to normal. Our session was for 20 minutes and about 5 minutes in, I no longer heard the sweet lull of the nature music being pumped into the room. Instead, I heard the low snore of my boyfriend, who lay across the room in the deepest sleep of his life. Then we were able to take showers before returning to our room. Calistoga is full of natural hot springs and these spas can tap into those for their water source. The downside to this is that it lets out a very pungent sulfurous smell. The other downside was that, in spite of all the warnings of possible scalding, the water never got very hot. We then went to the store where our cashiers appeared to be arguing over my age. Do I look 17? After eating, we swam in the heated pool where I unintentionally polluted the pool with a rather nasty bloody nose. That is only the second one I have ever had and I don't know why I got it. Aren't you glad I told you? After I clotted, Jed and I returned to our room to bake in the sauna. We had a contest on who could throw the most sweat onto the coals and make the loudest sizzle. I am proud to say that despite my lesser surface area, I won.

Day 3
Room service! I have never before indulged in such a luxury since my father forced us to drink powdered milk growing up because it was cheaper than real milk. Everyone should try room service at least once. I felt rich. Where are you Robin Leach? Jed scored us a room on the 23rd floor which offered us a fantabulous view of downtown San Francisco. Of course, we threw pennies into the pool that was 17 stories below us. Good times. Our friend from high school, Aron came to visit us and he immediately noticed my lip gloss which reminded me why I love him so much. We spent lots of time eating our room service in front of him, making him be quiet while we finished watching our reality television and then catching up on the years since we last saw eachother. It was just like old times.

Day 4
I pigged out on the free breakfast we got as members of the Priority Club and then got really sick. Jed had plans for much of the day, so I just lazed around and planned our evening to meet up with my friend Trina and her boyfriend Geoff for dinner. It was on our way to meet them for dinner that I realized my sense of direction is horrible. Actually, I have known this for a while, but since I used to live in San Francisco, I thought that I could make it. Jed was the one to point out that we were going in the wrong direction on the bus and immediately following that I was yelled at by the correct bus driver by using the back door instead of the front. Oh well. The four of us went to a Senegalese restaurant which was quite yummy. As noted in ne of Jed's pictures, it was on this night that I was convinced I had seen a skewered rat on the sidewalk. I desperately tried to save Trina from its frightening image but she broke free and hysterically informed me that it was a pussywillow. Easy mistake. Could happen to anyone.

Day 5
This was our day of Aron! We didn't get a lot of time with him the night he came over to the hotel so we devoted our whole afternoon to catching up. We thought Jed should see the wharf, so we ventured down there and took a really great boat ride around the bay. It was a very sunny day and we brought the camera that I still don't know how to use. Jed took the time to learn and wouldn't you know, the batteries died after one picture. Sigh. Aron then showed us where he worked. I am blown away and utterly envious. He is a recruiter for Gap, Inc. and works in nothing short of a palace. His "cubicle" is more like a luxury office and he even has a rooftop terrace which overlooks the bay and the Oakland Bay Bridge. Best of all, he gets a kickin discount at all the Gap owned stores. He took us out to a late lunch where he drowned himself in the most humongoid margaritas I have ever seen. I was impressed. Then he bought me a hat. It was a good day. I took Jed out to my favorite little sushi place and on the way, we saw a minor accident involving the door of a taxi being closed inside the door of a bus. Very exciting.

Day 6
Our last day in San Francisco. We drove down Lombard Street, the crookedest street in the world and then went to Baker Beach. I love this beach. It isn't the kind that you can swim at, but it is really beautiful and there are some great views of the Golden Gate Bridge. In fact, many of the really great professional pictures of the bridge are taken from this beach. Then we went to Golden Gate Park, which Jed pointed out is actually nowhere near The Golden Gate Bridge, so why is it named so? Our jaunt through the park was largely based on us getting to the Ben and Jerry's where we got ice cream. I am a huge pig and had three scoops and Jed had one scoop, but that wasn't his fault. He was jipped though I was happy that he refused my offer to share my cone. Our drive back began much like our drive out of Seattle; leaving much later than we intended. Again, the roads were curvy and horribly frightening. Somehow, I believed that we could make it to Fort Bragg in 2 hours. I think it took us 2 hours to go 44 miles. Jed contined to drive and THEN took pictures while driving. I felt useless but I admit that the pictures he took while driving were better than mine at any point. The roads were wierd and desolate. There would be a sign posting the speed limit as 55 and then immediately following that there would be a yellow warning sign indicating curvy roads with a speeding limit of 20. The road was scary enough but off to the left were thick forests where I imagined serial killers make their plans and to the right was a steep drop-off to a raging river that was begging to eat us up. As Jed pointed out in his entry, we both went insane. Simon and Garfunkel was playing and their soft, hypnotic sound pushed us over the edge. Before we reached a point of no return, we made it to Fort Bragg and immediately went to Denny's where the stupid machine denied us our Care Bears, but have no fear...Jed conquered the mighty claw the next morning when we went back for breakfast. This Care Bear was Cheer Bear (the pink one) whom I renamed Boutros Boutros after that guy in politics.

Day 7
The coastal route in the daytime is much prettier. Every time we saw the ocean, we were convinced that it was prettier than the time before. It made the whole saga that was the night before well worth it. We left California and stayed in Grants Pass, OR that night so that I could meet with my friend Jerry the next day.

Last Day
We drove down to Ashland, OR the next day to see my friend Jerry from my days at Shakespeare and Company. Ashland is known for its Shakespeare Festival and the entire town revolves around this. It is really quaint and I liked it a lot, but there is nothing else within billions of miles and Oregon still frightens me. Jerry took us to a cute local restaurant where I ordered a mammoth piece of cake. If you look at the picture, the cake looks bigger than my waist. Of course, not anymore since I added most of that cake directly onto my waist. It was worth it. Note: I wasn't able to finish it all that day, so at about 5am after we returned home, I thought I couldn't live another second without a bite. I was literally just about to put the fork in when I heard "Karen, drop the fork. Put the fork away." I was busted by Jed who is trying to help me get into better shape. Sadly, there is no cure for my sweet tooth. We stopped one last time at Denny's before coming home. We didn't win a Care Bear though. We walked away with a total of 3 but I intend for the collection to grow under the insistence that they must all be won from claw machines. Home felt good, though this is not my home and I am still largely living out a suitcase. After all that travel, Jed and I needed a rest. We are still recovering and sleeping 'till noon with no shame.

Please, look at the pictures Jed posted onto his site. They are fun to me, and it would be cool if you could pretend that they are fun to you too.

Thanks for sticking through this nightmarishly long entry. Remember no job = free time to write unnecessarily long entries.

Sayonara!

Thanks again Andy! I love it!

Anyway, last week was full of goodbyes and celebrations. Here is a (quick as I can be) recap of the events that I failed to update you on:

On January 30 Jed, Andy and good Dr. Elvis Bartakamous set out for Seattle.
On February 1, the world saw Janet Jackson's boob. Was it planned? Who's idea was it? Should all 'live' shows have a delay? Who gives a rat's ass?
On February 3, the guys arrived in Seattle at some ungodly hour.
On February 4, UMASS called me and told me they wanted my diploma back. Or at least that a clerical error is the reason that they want to take away my magna cum laude designation.
On February 5, I spent $600 on new clothes for work with Lisa.
On February 6, Lisa and I had a morning at the spa. We had facials and a hydrotherapy massage and a bad makeover. Then we drove back to CT in a snowstorm.
On February 7, Lisa and I turned a whopping 25! She is the best birthday buddy ever. Lisa, Rob and I went to visit Anni and Chris in NYC. The girls had pedicures, the boys went to a wine tasting or something. We all went to lunch. I got very ill. Then I went to my friend Kaycee's apartment where we indulged in birthday ice cream and nachos and other wonderful, fatty foods.
On February 8, I returned to CT to find that my boyfriend sent me a dozen red roses for my birthday. I left for the city too early to see them that day.
On February 9, I played with my nephews.
On February 10, I played with my nephews and went out to dinner with my sister in law.
On February 11, I left for Arizona at the most ungodly hour with my friends Meghan and Jesse where Jesse entertained us with his ideas on how to thwart a terrorist attack by using two inflated life vests as a barrier between him and the knife-wielding attackers. Even after Meghan and I explained to him that air is easy to stab through and that we didn't want to think about that before getting on a plane, he continued with his ideas as a way to "fill the silence."
Arizona lasted from 2/11 to 2/15. I went with my old roommate Meghan and her husband to visit Meghan's family and just spend some time relaxing. We did a whole lot of nothing and it was wonderful.
On February 15, I came to Seattle and so far am doing a whole lot of nothing here. It is also wonderful. Jed and Chris have a beautiful apartment in a very nice section of the city. I must say that I am jealous.
On February 18, Jed and Andy remembered that they bought me a cake a few days earlier and we celebrated my belated birthday and Valentine's Day. There were naughty candles in the cake. I also learned that Andy has no sense of smell. That's whack.

So there's the recap. You're all updated and there will be more to come much, much sooner this time.

Sayonara or something...

Just to update everyone…I am in Florida right now. A lot has happened in the past week and once I get pictures back from those events I will dedicate whole pages to them. For a quick tease on what is to come…I tricked Jed (with the help of all our friends) into thinking that I would be leaving for FL on Friday when we were really having a surprise party for him the next night; I visited the college I was ‘asked to leave’ in Orlando; I have been staying with my aunt and uncle in Orlando and I got to visit one of my best friends, Robin who took me to South Florida and we spent a day on South Beach in Miami and a day in West Palm Beach where we got to try on really, really expensive and humongoid diamonds.

For now, however, I am still in the process of introductions and I wanted everyone to get to know the little men in my life. I am the proud auntie of two little boys, Joey and Tommy. They are little miracle babies. Joey, as seen here...

...was due on February 7th (hmmmm familiar date…) but was born two months early on December 11, 2001. He weighed around 3 pounds and actually looked Asian. However, he now looks a lot like my dad except in a good way, and he has a great little personality. Joey was named after my brother’s imaginary friend from childhood (though some of us still question his present existence). My brother will insist that he was named after my brother but in reverse, but it was told to me that it was really after his imaginary friend. Knowing my brother, I know his “friend” was behind the whole thing. Joey is a little spitfire. He enjoys hanging out alone as he feels that he can entertain himself far better than any of us. The Wiggles are his favorite show featuring homosexual men and he likes to have his belly rubbed, but only by my brother. He has lots of little, sharp teeth and uses them on occasion. His preferred method of travel is a scoot/hop/roll/pivot. He enjoys chocolate birthday cake, peeing in the tub and clapping.

Tommy was even a bigger miracle. He was born 3 months early. An entire trimester! He was due on March 26th but popped out on January 7, 2003. I think he only weighed one or two pounds. He was so little and lived in an incubator just like his brother did. I visited him often in the hospital and touched him by a small, gentle tapping since a pet would likely tear his delicate skin. Now he is a year old and so freaking cute. Unlike Joey, who isn’t a fan of cuddling, Tommy is a snuggler. He can’t get enough of being held and loved, which is right up my alley. When visiting, I usually make a beeline for Tommy and don’t give him up until a cry starts to form, which is when I quickly toss him to my mom so that they think she made him cry. Here is Tommy looking a little surprised and a tad different than his actual self, but you still get the point.

He is damn cute. I am also his Godmother. (Not that I believe in that crap, but my brother does and if anyone was going to do the job, it was me, largely because all the other siblings were used up for the important stuff with Joey. Nothing like being a leftover. But I still intend to do my best as the most nonreligious Godmother the world has ever seen.) I will teach these boys to rebel against the Catholic Church (unless they want to practice) and I will shower them with gifts that my measly paycheck after rent and student loans can buy. Though not as into the homo-Wiggles as Joey, Tommy pretty much likes anything that his big brother does. I am not sure that Joey realizes Tommy exists, but it is cute nonetheless. He looks a lot like my brother but hopefully will continue on a cuter path. If you want to win his love, play pattycake with his feet. He enjoys sleeping on my brothers spot in the bed and screaming these little screams just to hear his own voice. He hasn’t decided how he feels about clapping yet.

So now you have met my nephews. I never liked kids, and in a way I still don’t. These two are the exception to the rule because they are so damn cute, you can’t help but love them and talk in that irritating baby voice when you are around them. Well, that is all for now. Back to sunny FL and worrying that I talk (write) WAY too much.